The need to be needed.
Updated: Feb 3, 2018
Have you ever tried to make someone love you?
I know that I have, and I used to be in relationships with men that were limited in their
ability to meet my needs or love me. It was as if I had a sign on my
head that said “I'm not lovable” on it.
I spent my time in these relationships being needy and trying to make them care about me
and love me, and it was exhausting.
Are you familiar with that feeling you get in the pit of your stomach
that drives you to try to make someone care about you and love you?
It almost feels like someone kicked you in the stomach, and even if they
say they love you, or do something nice for you, there is this nagging
feeling that is ever present within you, and you are never fully satisfied.
Or this may show up differently for you. Maybe you're a People-Pleaser
and you're always doing things for other people even if you don't really
want to, because of the need to be needed.
That needy feeling is an emotional resonance from something in your past
that has yet to be healed within you, and it can show up in all areas of
your life, from your relationship with your partner, family, friends,
and even your workplace.
You may have turned to alcohol to soothe this emotional resonance, but until
you dive deep into it and release it, you simply have two problems now.
Lean into this feeling of need and just be curious about it.
Allow your mind to bring anything forward that it's related to, and then just be curious about that.
Allow the feeling of need to drain out of your body to the best of your ability,
so that you can begin to attract relationships in your life that are healthy for
you, and that bring you joy.
Ultimately you want to be in a relationship with yourself first, work on your
bag of crap, and then move into a healthy relationship.
Start where you are, but just start. It's hard, but totally worth it!
Giant air hug coming your way. :)