How to Change Myself to Save My Marriage
The 90-Day Marriage Miracle™ Hypnotherapy Program

Does Hypnotherapy Work For Divorce?

You know that feeling when you walk into your own house and it doesn't feel like home anymore?

When the person sleeping next to you feels like a stranger? When you catch yourself wondering how you got here - how the person who used to be your best friend now barely makes eye contact?

Maybe you've been having the same fight over and over. Maybe they've stopped fighting altogether, which somehow feels worse. You've probably noticed them on their phone more, staying late at work, or finding reasons to be anywhere but with you.

And somewhere in the back of your mind, you know they're researching their options. Divorce attorneys. Apartment rentals. A life without you.

You're here because you finally understand what everyone's been trying to tell you: if anything is going to change, it has to start with you.

Asking yourself how do I change myself to save my marriage is often the first step toward real transformation.

You can't control whether your partner decides to follow through with divorce. But you can control yourself - and this gives you the greatest chance to save your marriage, and by default, your finances.

By the way: This approach is for marriages where both partners are fundamentally caring towards each other, who've lost their way due to unhealed wounds and destructive patterns.

If your spouse is abusive, manipulative, or unwilling to respect basic boundaries, divorce may be the appropriate course of action. Your safety and wellbeing come first.

The 90-Day Marriage Miracle™ Program To Save Your Marriage And Avoid Divorce

Is Your Marriage Crisis Actually a Cry for Healing?

Discover the Hidden Trigger Pattern That's Hijacking Your Mind and Destroying Your Connection

Your marriage is in crisis. You're reacting in ways that push your spouse further away. But what if your triggers aren't really about what your partner is doing right now?

What if they're your nervous system's way of protecting you from much deeper wounds - wounds you might not even remember?

This assessment reveals the specific survival pattern that's running your reactions and hints at what needs to heal for you to show up as the person your spouse can open their heart to again.

Take the assessment and discover:

Why your mind and body hijack you in critical moments
The subconscious pattern sabotaging your best intentions
What deeper healing work will transform your marriage

The assessment takes 3-4 minutes. Get your personalized results to understand what's really driving your reactions.

Type TRIGGERS in the blue chat box below to get your free assessment now.

Hypnotherapy For Marriage Problems - The Financial Reality Check About What This Divorce Crisis Is Really Costing You

I know you'd rather not think about the money right now. You just want your partner back. But let's be honest about what you're facing if nothing changes.

If things get messy, divorce can take up to 5 years to finalize. Five years of watching everything you've built together get divided, documented, and destroyed.

If your household income is $50K-80K:

You'll lose $315K-325K immediately (your half of the house, 401k, pension you've worked decades for)
Then pay $2,300-4,000 every month (alimony and child support)
After 3 years: You've lost $397K-469K
After 5 years: You've lost $453K-565K of everything you've worked for

If your household income is $80K-150K:

Immediate loss: $475K-925K (half of everything you've sacrificed for)
Monthly payments: $3,400-6,700 (money that could have been your retirement)
After 3 years: $597K-1.166M gone
After 5 years: $679K-1.327M that you'll never get back

If your household income is $150K-300K:

Immediate loss: $875K-2M (the house you thought you'd grow old in)
Monthly payments: $6,100-12,200 (vacations you'll never take together)
After 3 years: $1.095M-2.44M destroyed
After 5 years: $1.241M-2.732M of your life's work, gone

If your household income is $300K+:

Immediate loss: $2.3M-8.5M+ (the legacy you wanted to leave your children)
Monthly payments: $11,700-31,500 (enough to send kids to college, repeatedly)
After 3 years: $2.721M-9.634M evaporated
After 5 years: $3.002M-10.39M of everything you've built, divided between lawyers and your ex

Plus $30K-200K in legal fees. Money that could have been spent on

anything else - family vacations, your kids' education, your retirement..

But this isn't really about money, is it?

It's about losing the person you thought you'd grow old with. It's about your kids shuttling between houses. It's about explaining to your parents why your 25-year marriage didn't make it.

Can Hypnosis Help With Marriage Problems: Why Everything You've Tried Has Failed

You've probably been here before. Maybe you suggested couples therapy and watched your spouse's face shut down. Or maybe you're the one who's been skeptical - you've tried talking, you've tried changing, you've tried giving them space, and nothing worked.

Here's why those approaches fail when your marriage is hanging by a thread:

Traditional therapy makes you talk about the same problems over and over. You sit in that room, paying someone $150 an hour to watch you and your spouse hurt each other with words while they try to play referee.

You analyze why you both react the way you do, you discuss your childhoods, maybe learn some communication techniques that feel forced and fake when you try to use them at home.

But here's what's really happening: while you're talking about your problems at the surface level, the real issues - the automatic patterns that make you both react on autopilot - keep running underneath.

Your spouse leaves therapy thinking, "See? Nothing changes. We just talk in circles."

And honestly? They're not wrong about traditional approaches.

You keep trying to fix the wrong things. You think if you just communicate better, or help more around the house, or plan more date nights, things will get better.

But you're putting band-aids on something that needs surgery.

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How To Save Your Marriage from Divorce: A Different Path Forward

Introducing The 90-Day Marriage Miracle™

What if I told you that the person you married - the one who used to laugh at your jokes, who used to light up when you walked in the room - is still in there?

They're just buried under years of hurt, disappointment, and protective walls they've built to keep from being hurt again.

The 90-Day Marriage Miracle™ uses The Emotional Reset Method™ to help you become the person your spouse can love safely again. Not by changing who you are, but by removing the layers of old wounds and automatic reactions that are hiding your best self.

Can Hypnosis Help With Divorce?

The Truth About "Happy" Childhoods

Let me guess - when people ask about your childhood, you say it was fine. Normal. Maybe even good. Your parents weren't abusive. You had food, shelter, love. So why would childhood stuff be affecting your marriage now?

Here's what most people don't realize: you don't need a traumatic childhood to carry wounds that are destroying your marriage today.

Sometimes the most damaging things are the ones that seemed normal:

Maybe your dad worked 70-hour weeks and you learned that love means providing, not being present. Maybe your mom handled everything emotional in the house and you never learned it was safe for men to have feelings.

Maybe conflict was avoided at all costs, so you never learned how to express yourself in a healthy way. Maybe you were praised for being "the good kid" and learned that love was conditional on performance.

These things felt normal because they were your normal. But they created patterns in how you handle stress, conflict, intimacy, and emotional safety - patterns that are playing out in your marriage right now, completely outside your conscious awareness.

Your spouse has their own version of this story. You're both unconsciously recreating dynamics from your past, pushing each other's buttons in ways that make perfect sense once you understand the programming running underneath.

What Can You Do?

Step 1: Take the Lead (Even When They've Checked Out)

I know this feels unfair. You're thinking, "Why should I be the one to change? They're the one who wants to leave. They're the one who's given up."

But here's what I've learned: when one person in a marriage changes completely - not just tries harder or promises to do better, but actually becomes different at a core level - it changes everything.

Your spouse is watching you, even when they seem indifferent. They're looking for evidence that real change is possible, not just another cycle of promises that don't stick. They've been disappointed before. They've watched you try to change and revert back to old patterns when things get stressful.

You become the leader by changing yourself first. Not to manipulate them into staying, but because you're committed to becoming the person this relationship needs. To build a strong foundation of security and trust - to yourself, first and foremost.

Remember: you can't control whether they follow through with divorce, but you can control yourself - and this gives you the greatest chance to save your marriage and everything you've built together.

Step 2: Address the Real Problem (Not What You Think It Is)

Right now you probably think your marriage is falling apart because of:

Communication problems (you can't talk without fighting)
Financial stress (money arguments that never resolve)
Lack of intimacy (when's the last time you felt connected?)
Work pressures (someone's always stressed about something)
In-law issues (family drama that creates tension)

These things are real, and they still need to be addressed. But they're symptoms, not causes. They're the fruit of a tree with poisoned roots.

The real problem is the automatic patterns running beneath your conscious awareness - patterns that were installed in your subconscious mind and nervous system long before you met your spouse.

The way you handle stress, the way you respond to feeling unheard, the way you react when you feel criticized or abandoned.

When you're asking yourself how do I fix myself to fix my marriage, you're on the right track.

The Emotional Reset Method™ goes directly to these root patterns through targeted and advanced hypnotherapy that accesses the subconscious mind where real change happens - not just surface behavior modification that falls apart under pressure.

Step 3: Transform Your Automatic Responses

Think about what happens when you and your spouse get into it. There's usually a moment - maybe it lasts a split second - where you feel something shift inside you.

Your chest tightens, your jaw clenches, your mind goes blank or starts racing. You're thinking, "Here we go again" or "They never listen to me" or "Why do they always..." And then you react.

Maybe you shut down and give them the silent treatment because you're thinking, "What's the point? They won't hear me anyway."

Maybe you get defensive and start listing everything they do wrong because you're feeling attacked and your mind is screaming, "That's not fair! What about all the times you…

" Maybe you walk away because you're overwhelmed and thinking, "I can't do this anymore," or raise your voice because you're desperate to be heard, or say something cutting because you want them to hurt the way you're hurting.

Here's what's really happening in those moments:

Current pattern: Something triggers your old wound - they say that thing that always sets you off. Immediately, you feel that familiar punch in the gut, that flash of anger or hurt.

Your nervous system goes into protection mode and fight, flight, or freeze kicks in. Your mind starts running the old story: "They don't respect me" or "I'm not safe here" or "This always happens."

You react from that wounded, scared place, and your spouse feels attacked, abandoned, or unsafe. They're thinking "Here they go again" or "I can't do anything right." So they go into their own protection mode.

Connection breaks down. You both retreat to your corners, feeling misunderstood and alone, and the distance between you grows.

New pattern (after The Emotional Reset Method™): The same trigger occurs - they say the same thing that used to devastate you. But this time, you notice it without that punch in the gut or racing heart. You stay calm and centered instead of spinning out.

Your mind thinks something like "That's interesting, they seem upset" or "I wonder what's really going on for them."

"You respond in a neutral way with a more positive outlook. Your spouse feels safe and seen instead of judged or attacked. They soften and open up because they're not bracing for a fight.

You both stay connected even in difficult moments. Connection deepens, and intimacy rebuilds naturally.

This isn't about willpower or trying harder to control your reactions. You've probably already tried that - biting your tongue when you want to snap back, walking away when you feel yourself getting triggered, counting to ten and trying to stay calm. But it feels forced and fake, doesn't it?

And when you're really stressed or tired, those techniques go right out the window and you're back to your old patterns, feeling frustrated with yourself and thinking, "Why can't I just get this right?"

This is about healing the original wounds that created those automatic responses, so your natural reaction becomes neutral and positive instead of defensive and reactive.

When you're healed at this deep level, you don't have to manage your triggers because they're not there anymore.

Step 4: Create Space for Your Spouse's Transformation

Here's something beautiful that happens: when you heal your patterns and start showing up differently, your spouse begins to feel safe enough to look at their own patterns.

I won't be working with your spouse directly. But when you change at this deep level, it creates a ripple effect. They start responding differently because you're no longer triggering their deepest fears and insecurities.

Think about it: if your spouse has been walking on eggshells around you, and suddenly you become emotionally safe and predictable, they can finally relax.

If they've been defending themselves against your criticism, and you stop criticizing, their walls can come down. If they've been feeling like nothing they do is ever good enough, and you start appreciating them, they can remember why they fell in love with you.

Important: Even if your marriage doesn't survive this crisis, you need to do this work. Otherwise, you'll carry these same patterns into your next relationship and recreate the same problems. Your kids are watching how you handle this and it’s an invaluable opportunity to set the right example for them.

The 90-Day Marriage Transformation Timeline

Whether you've been wondering what is slippage in a marriage or navigating what are the hard years of marriage, this timeline shows how real transformation unfolds as we work together:

Month 1: Rapid Pattern Shift

We identify the core wounds driving your unhelpful or destructive patterns (the ones you didn't even know were there)
You start responding differently in triggering situations (your spouse notices something has shifted, even if they don't say anything)
The crisis energy begins to stabilize (you stop feeling like you're walking on a tightrope every day)
Hope starts creeping back in (maybe this can actually be saved)

Month 2: Rebuilding Safety and Trust

New patterns become more automatic (you don't have to think about responding differently - it just happens)
Communication naturally improves (no more walking away from conversations or explosive fights)
Physical and emotional intimacy begins to return (your spouse starts letting their guard down)
You're both sleeping better (the constant tension in your house starts to lift)

Month 3: Creating Your New Marriage Foundation

The stuff that used to make you want to throw dishes just rolls off your back now
You're cuddling on the couch again instead of sitting on opposite ends like strangers
You're actually excited about your future together instead of just hoping you'll make it to next week
You stop dreading coming home because it actually feels like home again
People notice the difference - friends stop asking if everything's okay because you both seem happy again

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Why Separation Can Be Dangerous Territory

If your spouse is suggesting separation, they probably frame it as needing space to "figure things out" or "get perspective."

I understand the logic. When you're drowning, sometimes it feels like you need to get out of the water to breathe.

But here's what the research shows: separation dramatically increases the likelihood of divorce.

When you're apart:

Other people start filling the emotional void (friends, coworkers, maybe someone else entirely)
Legal momentum builds toward divorce (it's easier to move forward when you're already living apart)
Physical distance creates emotional distance (out of sight, out of mind becomes real)
Your daily life starts working without them (you prove to yourself that you don't need them)
Hope diminishes daily (every day apart feels like evidence that it's really over)

Whether you're wondering how to change myself to save my marriage after 30 years or how to save your marriage when it seems impossible, the answer remains the same: real change starts with you.

The better path: Transform yourself rapidly while you're still together. Show them through your actions - not your words - that real change is happening.

You can't control their decision, but you can control how you show up, and this gives you the greatest chance to save your marriage and your financial future.

Your Investment in Saving Everything That Matters

I know you're tired. Tired of fighting, tired of trying, tired of hoping things will get better and being disappointed. But let's put this in perspective:

Option 1: Do nothing different

Year 1: Watch $30K-200K disappear in legal fees alone (money that could have been put towards other things)
Year 2: Keep paying $2,300-31,500 monthly while watching everything get divided (your retirement, gone)
Year 3: You've lost $397K-2.44M of everything you worked for
Year 5: You've lost $453K-10.39M total - plus your best friend, your daily life, your kids' intact family
Start over financially and emotionally in your 40s, 50s, or beyond
Explain to everyone why your marriage failed
Watch your kids struggle with divided loyalties and shuttling between houses

Option 2: Invest in the right solution like The 90-Day Marriage Miracle™

Save your marriage and family (keep everything you've built together)
Become the person you're meant to be (not just for your spouse, but for yourself)
Break generational patterns affecting your children (give them a model of what healthy love looks like)
Keep the life you've built together (the house, the traditions, the shared dreams)
Grow old with your best friend (the way you always planned)

Even in the more modest financial scenario, saving your marriage prevents hundreds of thousands in losses over just the first few years. But more than that, it saves everything that money can't buy.

What Makes The 90-Day Marriage Miracle™ Different

Individual Transformation That Creates Couple Healing

Traditional couples therapy requires both people to show up and do the work together. But what happens when your spouse has already checked out?

What happens when they refuse to go, or they go but just sit there with their arms crossed?

The 90-Day Marriage Miracle™ focuses on your individual transformation so complete that it naturally shifts the entire relationship dynamic.

We're not trying to fix your marriage from the outside in with communication techniques and date nights. We're healing you from the inside out, and your marriage transforms as a natural result.

When you change at the core level, your spouse has to respond differently because you're no longer the same person they've been protecting themselves from.

The Deep Work We’ll Do Together That Changes Everything

Most people think saving a marriage is about learning better communication skills or trying harder to be nice to each other. That's like putting a fresh coat of paint on a house with a cracked foundation.

Here's what we're actually doing: We're going into your subconscious mind - where all your automatic reactions live - and healing the original wounds that make you react when your spouse triggers you.

We're not managing your triggers. We're eliminating them.

First, we identify what's really happening: The unconscious reactions that are sabotaging your connection, the protective behaviors that are backfiring, and where your actions aren't matching up with what you really want for your marriage.

Then we do the deep subconscious work: Advanced regression hypnosis sessions where we go deep into your subconscious mind to find and heal the original wounds.

We'll also heal those times when other experiences reinforced the original wounds - every rejection, betrayal, or disappointment that layered on top of the first hurt. Think of it like emotional surgery - removing all the infected parts so healthy connection can grow.

Accelerated Timeline (Not Years of Processing)

Your marriage is in crisis and divorce seems imminent - you don't have years to slowly process your past while your spouse files for divorce.

Through The Emotional Reset Method™, we can reshape beliefs and behaviors that have been running your life for decades in a matter of weeks.

We start with an intensive day designed to create immediate, measurable shifts in how you show up. This isn't slow, gradual change while your marriage burns down around you. This is rapid intervention that stops the bleeding and gives you both hope that real change is possible.

Deep Connection Recovery

When you heal at this deep level, something remarkable happens: your spouse begins feeling naturally attracted to you again. Not because you're trying different techniques or strategies, but because you've become the person they can love safely. The person they fell in love with, but without the wounds that were destroying your connection.

The Support You Need to Make This Real

You can't do this alone. If you could have, you would have already. You've probably tried to change before, maybe promised your spouse you'd work on yourself, maybe even read books or watched videos. But lasting change at this level requires support from someone who understands exactly what's happening in your marriage and how to fix it at the root level.

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How We Work Together: Your Transformation Timeline

The One-Day Intensive: Emergency Surgery for Your Marriage

We start with a one-day intensive designed to create immediate, measurable shifts in how you show up. In this intensive, you'll uncover who you really are underneath all the hurt and reactivity. We'll identify what happiness and success in your marriage actually look like for YOU, and determine which area to focus on first to gain momentum toward saving everything you've built together.

Weekly Marriage Rescue Sessions: Creating Real Change

We'll meet for intensive work that literally rewires your brain for love instead of protection. Some weeks we'll do advanced hypnotherapy. Other weeks we'll do "Feel and Heal" sessions where you learn to master your inner world.

And some weeks we'll do pure mentoring where I guide you through exactly what to do in your specific situation.

This isn't therapy where you talk about your problems for months. This is transformation work where you become a different person at the core level.

Your Custom Hypnosis Recording: Having Me With You Every Day

After our one-day intensive together, I'll create a completely customized hypnosis recording crafted specifically for your

patterns, your wounds, and your marriage situation.

This is the "Gold Standard" of hypnotherapy - embedded with theta frequencies and containing everything we've discovered about your specific patterns.

You'll listen to this recording daily, and it will feel like having me with you, supporting you and reinforcing all the positive changes we've created together. It will help you stay on track when old triggers try to resurface and help you relax after stressful days instead of taking that stress out on your spouse.

FOOLPROOF Affirmations Your Mind Won't Reject

Most affirmations don't work because your subconscious mind rejects them as lies. I'll create affirmations based on the real work we've done and the actual changes you've made - affirmations your subconscious mind will actually accept and believe.

Unlimited Support When You Need It Most

Starting in month two, you get unlimited 15-minute mentoring sessions on predetermined work days - as long as you're listening to your custom hypnosis recording daily. You'll have bite-sized homework to keep you moving forward, and once you complete it, you can book another session immediately.

Plus, you get Voxer access to me for ongoing mentoring and accountability. Think of it as having a marriage transformation expert in your pocket, available when those crucial moments arise and you need to respond differently than you ever have before.

The Happiness Starts Here™ Self-Study Program

You'll get lifetime access to my complete meditation and emotional mastery program. This teaches you how to manage your emotions, conquer your worries and fears, and have your external life reflect your new, empowered internal state.

This isn't just about saving your marriage - it's about becoming the person you're meant to be. The person your children will be proud to call their parent. The person who breaks generational cycles instead of passing them down.

Your Marriage Can Be Saved

I know you're scared. I know part of you has given up hope. I know your spouse seems done and you're not sure they'll give you another chance, especially if you've promised to change before and fallen back into old patterns.

But here's what I also know: the person you married is still there.

They're buried under years of hurt and disappointment and protective walls, but they're there. They're waiting for evidence that it's safe to love you again.

Your spouse isn't the enemy. They're not trying to hurt you or make your life difficult. They're a wounded person who learned to protect themselves the only way they knew how. Just like you.

When you heal your patterns, you give them permission to heal theirs.

hen you take responsibility for your part, you create space for them to look at themselves. When you become emotionally safe, they can finally put their walls down.

This isn't about becoming perfect. This is about becoming real, authentic, and emotionally safe. It's about showing up as the person you actually are underneath all the hurt and defensive patterns.

You can't control whether your partner decides to follow through with divorce. But you can control yourself - and by transforming who you are at the deepest level, you give your marriage the greatest chance of survival, and by default, protect everything you've worked for your entire adult life.

The next 90 days will determine whether you're celebrating your renewed marriage or signing divorce papers. The choice you make right now - to invest in real transformation or keep hoping things will somehow magically get better - will echo through the rest of your life and your children's lives.

Your family is worth fighting for. Your marriage is worth saving. And you're worth becoming the person you're meant to be.

The 90-Day Marriage Miracle™ isn't just about saving your marriage. It's about reclaiming your life, your family, and your future.

Ready To Save Your Marriage Before It's Too Late?

Book a confidential chat where we'll identify exactly what needs to change and how to make it happen fast.

To learn more, you can contact me by phone or email, or you can chat with me by clicking the blue chat box in the lower right hand corner of this page.

Email: ab@aplaygroundforyourmind.com

Phone: 916-500-2295

You can also schedule a free, no obligation/pressure chat to explore if I can possibly help you with your needs.

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How to Change Myself to Save My Marriage The 90-Day Marriage Miracle™ Hypnotherapy Program

Does Hypnotherapy Work For Divorce?

The 90-Day Marriage Miracle™ Program To Save Your Marriage And Avoid Divorce

Is Your Marriage Crisis Actually a Cry for Healing?

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Hypnotherapy For Marriage Problems - The Financial Reality Check About What This Divorce Crisis Is Really Costing You

If your household income is $50K-80K:

If your household income is $80K-150K:

If your household income is $150K-300K:

If your household income is $300K+:

Can Hypnosis Help With Marriage Problems: Why Everything You've Tried Has Failed

How To Save Your Marriage from Divorce: A Different Path Forward

Can Hypnosis Help With Divorce?

What Can You Do?

​You both stay connected even in difficult moments. Connection deepens, and intimacy rebuilds naturally.

The 90-Day Marriage Transformation Timeline

Why Separation Can Be Dangerous Territory

What Makes The 90-Day Marriage Miracle™ Different

The Deep Work We’ll Do Together That Changes Everything

Your marriage is in crisis and divorce seems imminent - you don't have years to slowly process your past while your spouse files for divorce.

​How We Work Together: Your Transformation Timeline

Your Custom Hypnosis Recording: Having Me With You Every Day

Unlimited Support When You Need It Most

Your Marriage Can Be Saved

This isn't about becoming perfect. This is about becoming real, authentic, and emotionally safe. It's about showing up as the person you actually are underneath all the hurt and defensive patterns.

Ready To Save Your Marriage Before It's Too Late?

Related Reading:

How to Change Myself to Save My Marriage
The 90-Day Marriage Miracle™ Hypnotherapy Program

You both stay connected even in difficult moments. Connection deepens, and intimacy rebuilds naturally.

How We Work Together: Your Transformation Timeline